Hetalia: Mental Conditions
by Vic-Mongona-is-awesome
Summary: Here are some random mental thingys you can get from watching way too much Hetalia!
1. Awesomeness Disorder!

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia... Boo-hoo!**

**Prussia: Yea! No one can own the awesome me!**

**Me: Except Hidekaz Himaruya. He made you.**

**France: Ha ha! That sounded so wrong!**

**Spain: Yea it did!**

**Me: Put a sock in it you two idiots!**

* * *

><p><span>Hetalia: Mental Conditions<span>

_Awesomeness Disorder_

_A terrible disease that makes you say 'Awesome' at least twice, every sentence. And you will tend to talk way to much!  
><em>_It will also make your friend think that you are an arsehole!_

* * *

><p><em>Example:<em>

"Hey, not as awesome as me person, how are you, not that it really matters!" My friend said.

I tilted my head to the side, "W-what?" She so didn't call me un-awesome!

"The awesome me has been doing well, other than having to look at your ugly face!" She said, again, really loud, too!

She's gonna get it! I pumped up my fist.

"Hey you look pretty hot when your pissed off! You wanna touch my-" She started saying, but I didn't hear all of it because I already fainted.

* * *

><p><strong>That's the first chapter of my story! By the way, thank God for spell check! It's soooo hard to spell!<strong>


	2. Gun Happy Swiss Banker Disorder

**Disclaimer: I so own Hetalia. (Notice the sarcasm!)**

**Prussia: No un-awesome person owns the awesome me!**

**Me: Dude, no one knows what the heck you're saying!**

**Italy: Huh? I do...**

**Spain: (Cuddles Italy) Aw.. Ita-chan! That's so cute! But, seriously no one really understands that narcissistic-**

**Prussia: (Hits Spain on the head) Grrrr...**

**Spain: Hey! That hurt!**

* * *

><p>Hetalia: Mental Condition<strong><br>**

_Gun Happy Swiss Banker Disorder _

_An awkward condition that makes a person as multipersonalitied as a teacher! One minute he's shooting somebody, then he's yelling at someone to voice their opinions, after that he's got a job as a bank teller, and it goes on and on! And his attitude changes right way and randomly! _

* * *

><p><em>Example:<em>

**Bang, Boom, Ka-boo!**

"That's how you shoot correctly, accurately, and effectively without using any un-needed bullets and to save money." Vic said, acting like he didn't just blow up an old shed, with only two bullets.

"What? Are you training for ROTC?" I asked.

"What the-!" My friend said, just as she passed out.

"Um.. Shouldn't we take her to the nurse?" Vic asked sounding concerned.

"Yea..." I said, while Vic picked up my friend, put her over his back, and went into the school.

"Come on. I don't want to explain why she passed out by my self." He said, as I tried to catch up with him.

* * *

><p><strong>Ugg.. I'm serious, I messed up spelling most three syllable words! And I hope you can tell who this was suppose to be.<strong>


	3. Saying 'Pasta' Randomly Disorder

**Disclaimer: (Sniffle) I-i don't o-own H-hetalia! **

**It's soo hard to admit!**

* * *

><p><span>Hetalia: Mental Conditions <span>

_Saying 'Pasta~' Randomly Disorder_

_A very annoying, very quickly condition that causes the victim to act like a certain pasta loving Italian.  
><em>_It will probably make people want to kill you! Or cause a certain 'unusually handsome grandfather' to pop out of nowhere! So...um...have fun with that..._

* * *

><p><em>Example: <em>

"Pasta~!" I shouted, happily.

"Ack! What the crap?" One of my friends shouted, pointing at me.

"Y-you're s-suppose t-to have a s-scowl on y-your face...!" Another one of my friends accused.

Then, another friend facepalmed. "She's cracked. Who wants to take her to the loony bin?"

"I will!" A random hot guy in a Spartan military uniform exclaimed.

"Ve~? Grampa Rome?" I asked.

"Yep! It's me, Feli-chan~!" He said, gesturing towards himself.

"Do you have pasta, grampa~?" I wondered.

"Of course! I know it's your favorite~! And-!" He said, but couldn't finish because I glomped him.

"Ve~! Pasta~!" And I left with the random, probably, cosplayer.

Leaving my friends behind to think a couple of things:

"What the crapola?"

"X.X" (a.k.a. Faint)

"..."

"Should we go save her..?"

"...Sh-she's suppose to b-be Sw-sweden! D-did I br-brake her or s-something?"

* * *

><p><strong>And that's the next chapter! Got the idea from XxSilentHostessxX! Thank you!<strong>


	4. Invisible Disorder

**Disclaimer: **

**Prussia: Ug.. This again?**

**Romano: What kinda f*in' creeps can't realize that Vic doesn't own Hetalia?**

**Me: Romano! Don't insult the readers! **

**Italy: Aw! Somebody needs a hug! (Hug)**

**Romano: Get off of me!**

**Japan: Um... Vic-san, I'm just going to end this now. **

**Me: Why~?**

**China: Because you have to actually start the chapter, aru! **

**Prussia: The fan is waiting for me~!**

**Me: First of all, for your information, this story already has, like 3 likes! So ha! And you already had your day in the lime light!**

**Prussia: You made the awesome me sound annoying!**

**Germany: (Whisper) Because you are.**

**China: Start the stupid chapter already, aru!**

**Japan: Hai! Don't start World War III!**

**Switzerland: Get an opinion! **

**China: OVER, aru!**

* * *

><p><strong><span>Hetalia: Mental Conditions<span>**

_Invisible Disorder_

_An awful disorder that, unfortunately, a lot of people have. It causes the sufferer to become unseeable*, and have a very quiet voice.  
>It may or may not cause a Russian to pop out of nowhere and sit on you.<br>Probably, only 3 people in the world will be able to notice that you're even there! _

* * *

><p><em>Example:<em>

"Karin! Where are you?" Someone in my class asked.

I gave up raising my hand, and faced reality, people just can't see me at the moment.

Then my best friend, Jeff, sighed, stood up, and pointed at me. "I've had enough! You idiots, look right here! Don't you see someone?"

A lot of people shook their heads, including the teacher.

"Even the teacher doesn't notice me, Jeff. Just give up." I said.

Jeff continued to yell at the teacher, and soon get sent to detention.

A little while after he left, the Russian exchange student came over and sat on me.

"Oh maple..." I said as I saw little maple leaves in the sky...

Hope Jeff comes back soon.

* * *

><p><strong>How do I know so much about this one?<strong>

**The answer is simple. I have it. So, yea...**

**Thank you, XxxFire RosexxX for the idea!**

***No, that isn't a word! I made it!**


	5. Extreme Yandere Disorder

**China: You're finally updating, aru?**

**Me: Yeah~! ...Hm...**

**China: (Sigh) Looks like the author has no more ideas for this beginning part, aru. **

**Me: Yep. I guess the chapter is going to start now...**

**China: Vic doesn't own Hetalia, aru. **

**Me: No matter how much I wish...**

* * *

><p><span>Hetalia: Mental Conditions<span>

_Extreme Yandere Disorder_

_This thing causes the victim to look kinda sweet, but act, uh, yandere-ish._

_Side effects__ of this disorder are;_

_-'Kol kol kol...'ing when angry_

_-Having an obsessed stalker that is one of your siblings _

_-Having everyone, and I mean everyone, being afraid of you (Except your siblings)_

_-Your weapon of choice will become a water pipe_

* * *

><p><em>Example:<em>

"Brother~ Where are you~?" Natalie asked, eerily, knocking on every door. Her voice growing closer after every '**_BANG!_**'.

I chose to stay quiet, but, I knew that she would find me soon.

And the fact that we were at school didn't help at all.

"I know you are here, brother~" The voice was just down the hall.

'_Oh how I wish I was like the Canadian exchange student!_' I thought, holding on to my water pipe, as if it was a teddy bear.

"You can run and hide all you want, brother, I will find you~" Now, her voice was right in front of the supply closet I was hiding in.

"Eep!" I accidently let out a small shriek of fear.

"So, you're in here, brother~? 'Supply Closet 201'~? The same as last time, huh~? Maybe it's a coincidence, or maybe, you wanted me to find you~"

"No! Sister, just go away!" I yelled, clutching the water pipe tighter than before.

'_Huh? Is that a dent? ***Sigh*** This will be the tenth one in the past week..._' I thought, sadly, thinking about where I might get the next new one.

* * *

><p><strong>Well, I hope you liked the thing that I finally updated~!<strong>

**Eek! _*BASH!*_ **

**Russia, be careful where you throw that thing!**

**...**

**Wait...You meant to throw it at my head...?**

**Uh, readers, do you know how to get an angry Russia to stop throwing random crap at my head and 'Kol kol kol'ing?**

**Because, I think I might be doomed here...**


	6. Sleepiness Disorder

**Disclaimer: Watashi wa Hetaria o shoyū shite inai...**

**Me: And sorry if that doesn't mean 'I don't own Hetalia' in Japanese (Romanji). I lost the book that taught me how to speak the language of the Gods... *Sigh***

**China: Wow. The chapter's going to start early, aru?**

**Me: Apparently, so~!**

**China: *Sniffle* Never thought this day would come, aru...**

**Me: Me, neither...**

**Everyone Else: ... (Thinking) ...What are they saying...?**

* * *

><p><span>Hetalia: Mental Conditions<span>

_Sleepiness Disorder _

_This awesome disease (...You really don't say that often, huh?) causes the victim to start sleeping. A lot._

_So much that they actually start day-dreaming about being turned into a cat, just so they can sleep wherever they want without being yelled at._

_As a side effect, they will also be a slight perv and very laid back (In most cases)._

* * *

><p><em>Example:<em>

"Come on, Fry! Did you have to go and sleep during a rock concert?" One very angry 'Person Who Tagged Along With Us' yelled.

I lazily glared at him. "Yes... I did.."

Then, my friend said, "...Well, I learned something new today...", in one of many attempts to 'end the violence' between me and... the first guy who spoke.

"Yeah! That you can be kicked out of every concert in the country, for just being near some idiot who fell asleep!" He shouted again.

"Hm... I thought I was the one sleeping..."

"HEY!" He yelled again.

"And, stop screaming... I think my ears are bleeding..."

"Or maybe one of your stupid cats scratched you!" He accused, pointing at a random kitten.

I knelt down to it and softly whispered, "Don't listen to the idiot..." Then, stood up, and in a _slightly_ rougher tone, "...If you hadn't noticed, which you probably didn't, there are kids here."

"First of all, what the heck do you mean? There are none! And second, what was so bad about what I said?" He yelled, again, injuring my poor ears.

"That it came out of your mouth..." I replied.

"That's it, cat-boy! Now, I'm gonna get you!"

"...Bring it on, masked idiot..."

"...Do you really have to fight over that...?" My, more passive aggressive, yet, fail of a peace keeper, friend said.

But, he seems to have forgotten, that me and the other have gotten into full on Mario Kart wars over _everything. _Once, even a cheese danish.

"Yes." Both of us, people fighting, said at the same time.

Then, the keeper of peace, sighed. And for a moment, everyone wondered if he'd give up his role. (Yes, even random bystanders. That's how often this happens. Actually, I'm surprised that it hasn't gotten into the news or broken up by the cops yet...)

But, he just sighed, and thought of more ways to keep one of us from going up into the floating thing in the sky and the other from going to the big house.

* * *

><p><strong>Russia! Take your dang Vodka and sunflowers and leave!<strong>

**Finally, some peace and not getting things thrown at me! Thank you, reviewers~!**

**...**

**Anyway...**

**Oh, and I think I might have this one, too!**

**Yep, you're listening to the rant of the person who has slept on a brick wall before~! Also I get yelled at for sleeping during lunch~! And, throughout the day I dream about getting to sleep! (But, I have problems sleeping on a bed. How is that fair?)**

**So, basically, this is my dream. To sleep during a Rock concert~!**

**...**

**And this reminds me of Fruits Basket, for some reason...**


	7. Hero Disorder

**Me: I still don't own Hetalia... **

**China: That's right, aru~**

**Me: ... *Sniffle***

**China: Get over it... aru. **

**Me: *Sigh* Fine. And this Author's Note is really short...**

**China: Yeah, aru... Can't believe it...**

* * *

><p><span>Hetalia: Mental Conditions<span>

_Hero Disorder _

_Just as the name implies, this disorder causes the victim to desperately strive to be the hero in every situation._

_And they also end up seeming really annoying to, basically, everyone. _

* * *

><p><em>Example:<em>

"Yeah, but, what if something happens? What will you do then?" The teacher asked.

"I'll protect everyone!" I exclaimed.

She looked like she wanted to bash her head on the wall. "And how, exactly, will you go about doing that?"

"In the most heroic way possible! Then everyone will know!"

This time she actually did bash her head on the wall. Repeatedly. "Will you just get in the friggin' closet, like the rest of the class..?"

"Why?" I yelled back.

"BECAUSE WE ARE HAVING A DISASTER DRILL!" Everyone in the room shouted.

"Oh, really...?" I said, as I walked in. "I didn't know..."

Then, simultaneously, everyone facepalmed/bashed their head on something/thought about slapping me/actually slapping me.

And I also remember a voice that, I think, mumbled some like, "You bloody git...", but I'm not every sure.

* * *

><p><strong>Wow, that was such a long time before I updated again, wasn't it?<strong>

**If you wanted to know why that took so long, it's because I've been watching too much Soul Eater, lately...**

**So, um, yeah...**

**By the way, this was suppose to happen in, like, Elementary School.**


End file.
